I used this prompt for a short story of mine that I did a while ago on Wattpad. I really liked it when I reread it, so Imma go ahead and pop it on here. I hope that’s ok. If not, feel free to ignore the next few hundred words 🙂
Warning: This short story is written from the perspective of the man who dated them all. Because of this, expect raunchy details. If you think that you wouldn’t enjoy reading about Wednesday’s sex life, feel free to go. Also, please be nice, as this is a piece I wrote. Anyway, I’m going. Please Enjoy!
Monday was a flighty one; a fickle woman who never could make a decision, especially when it came to food. She was nice, if absent-minded and a little dippy. She was fun for a short term thing, but as soon as things get a little serious, she broke it off gently. And TBH, her conversation topics dried up after she finished regaling me with the stories of her misadventures. I think it’s fairly clear why we didn’t work out.
And honestly, she’s not as great as she seems to think she is in bed. Just sayin’.
Ahhh, Tuesday. She was….
So bloody boring. Like, it was ridiculous. She was as vanilla as you can get. I mean, don’t get me wrong, some people like vanilla. I prefer more, like, peanut butter swirl with macadamia and… and ooh caramel sauce… and Kit Kat on top… and, of course, a few extra scoops, if you get my drift…
I got distracted.
Anyway, Tuesday was so boring, I can’t even talk about her without getting distracted. It felt a little like being in an old couple relationship, no sex and little talking. She was kinda stuck up, and clearly thought very little of me. I think me and her stayed together for about a week. I saw her in Coles with her new boyfriend yesterday, and I’m not kidding, he looked like a maths professor from the 60’s. At least she’s happy I guess. Her cat gave me hayfever, I remember now and she said that she could never love someone who couldn’t live with cats. Seriously, we were totally looking for excuses to get the hell away from the other.
Wednesday came next. Wednesday was the kinda girl everyone had a crush on in high school, y’know? Sporty, hot as hell, popular and with some nice… assets.
Wednesday was also hella pushy. When we first started ‘dated’, (regular booty calls that involved wine and occasionally dinner) she was ok, a little annoyed that I ate meat, especially because it had “the potential to cause some serious health issues including giving you cancer, contributes to erectile dysfunction, and studies show it can even make you immune to antibiotics…” she was a health nut and totally pushed it on me. She was great in bed, but when she opened her mouth…
Ahh, now I feel bad. She was really loyal, and very forgiving. She just wasn’t my type.
Also, I looked if it can contribute to erectile dysfunction, and it’s very rare. So there, little miss know-it-all.
Thursday was very different. She was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met, while Wednesday was always seeing the possibility for health risk, Thursday was kind and easy going. She never pushed me into anything and always tried to help me out. She was quiet and a little nerdy, but that wasn’t her defining characteristic. She was the most selfless person I’ve ever met, and she was very gullible and innocent. I trusted her completely, but I didn’t love her. It was more of a casual friendship with kissing, than an actual relationship. When we broke up, it was a mutual agreement. We occasionally meet up for coffee and a catch up.
Friday, however was different again. She was a wild, party girl. She was more my speed. We stayed together for months, and we went out most nights of the week, partying till late. We were very relaxed with our relationship, so I didn’t particularly care when I found her with her tongue down someone else’s throat, neither did she when she caught me in a compromising situation with a hot blonde in a bar.
I don’t really know why we didn’t work out. We were so similar, sometimes we didn’t even have to speak, we just knew what the other was thinking. I think I only realised how bad that was after a close friend of mine died, and she really didn’t care that much. I mean, she was all “oh, I’m sorry babe, that’s awful.” and promptly asked if I was going to the club tonight. She stuck around for a while, being sympathetic, but when I actually wanted to talk, she slipped away like an eel. We drifted away, and eventually just made it official and broke up.
Saturday though… she was kinda special. She was a nice mix between fun and relaxed. She was all for going out to a bar, or for staying in for the night watching a movie or playing a game. She was kinda perfect, except, well, something always seemed a little off.. but I’ll get right to that.
It was only when her dad died, did I realise how much I truly loved her. She was so strong, and I just was head over heels. She was special, and I took it slow to make sure I did it right. I finally said the ‘L’ word, at her dad’s funeral. When I said it, she sort of tensed up and looked up at me with puffy eyes and as she opened her mouth, I felt my heart break.
Ahem… yeah, trust me, it would not of worked out. She was only dating me cause her dad was kinda set in the traditional ways, but now, despite how sad she was, she was free.
Have you guessed? Yeah, my perfect girl, the woman with whom I’ve had my best relationship with, the girl I actually loved… was gay. Yup. Now, by now, I’d decided that I was cursed to be perpetually single forever more. Yeah, I’m a drama queen.
But then… then came Sunday.
Man, if I thought Saturday was perfect… well, Sunday is even better. Mostly cause she’s not gay, and she’s reading this over my shoulder.
She’s amazing. Gorgeous, smart, fun, just as immature as me, passionate, has a nice rack, entertaining, sporty, and she loves to watch the sunset. She snores, she laughs hysterically at her own jokes, but best of all, she actually loves me back. She’s imperfect in all the right ways and she’s kick ass at air hockey.
At first, we didn’t click, aside from me eyeing her from behind the counter at the local coffee shop. She asked me out a day after she spilt hot coffee all over me, as an apology gift, she claims. But I know better. Her manager fancies himself a matchmaker.
Yikes, I have to go now, we’ve got the King Kong Musical to see in an hour! Bye!